Don’t it ever dissipate?

See how long it lingers in the air

on your tongues,  in your hair

‘Think i want to buy that which you grow?’ that would make my skin crawl

my scalp itch, What!, to look like you?

knowing all the things you do?

You are the end of us, the process from beginning to disintegration

You are the end of the line, a chain of DNA that is dyeing

Stripped bare of all that once was us, Once was just the feminine earth

now Lust!,

You are weakest part of us, the degenerative conclusion,

the part that once was an immortal whole, now just an immoral illusion

that lost the soul, its infinite part, its greatest connection.

We birthed in love and bathed in beauty now die as ugly

and as the Religions you manifest, Hate your gift and your curse Canaanite

And the final conclusion we covet?

Man-kinds death you bring, sheltered within

the hollow space between your rotting flesh now sensitive to the sun

and  thoughts that brought your violence to our Mother, Africa!

you, monomaniacal demonic Christ flesh

Hate is you, you are Hate

and the end to all of this.

Disease did not destroy us,

You our spawn give rise to Hate and bring

Death to parts of Humanity

Hate is all Death

No centre did you find

No balance did you choose

Hate was your progression

and the final nail in the coffin.

Like most of my Generation, I was brought up in the Baptist Religion, clapping hands and falling to the feet of the Preacher, while watching the eyes of Congregation glaze over in a state of trance.

Holy water was the ritual for my baptism and the holy Ghost the Fear that brought me back ritualistically.

As my experiences grew greater I began to question a religion that subdued and mummified its audience to the point of blind trust.

While the church had nothing to prove to me, yet and still I had everything to prove in order to reach the Glorious Perley Gates of Heaven.

I wanted no part of this Garden I would gain, upon death, and would have to work to keep, once my days were over, gardening was  the last thing I wanted to do in heaven.

I had too many questions to ask, this God, who? and what? and why?, I would simply be too busy to garden.

I really needed to get to know who God was in terms of me, and mine and everybody I loved.

Years bought me many fortunes and misfortunes, but one thing remained, my lack of understanding, this nagging doubt in my mind, maybe this wasn’t for me.

I can not state without reservation, that I have come fully to the final conclusion. the ending result of my disillusionment, but one thing remains unchanged, I can not as the sum of my greatest mother, live a life without the fullest disclosure.

For I am not and will never be just another body, to deceive, as I was not conceived for the use of any man, lesser than the sum worth of all men, I was born and raised by women, and will always question, that which is not in my greatest interest, so the truth I will pursue, until then, I stand as the chosen Atheist.

I am not to Blame, for your disdain

Do not complain, you have no shame,

Filthy is your middle and last name

say it again and again fiend..

again and again, filthy is your Middle and Last Name

If I write all of my life I can never hope to displace all the hatred

you have misplaced, planted inside of my secret place..

Highlighted under Abuse and Mistrust

is You..that light we stay away from, that darkness did not come from

where nothing grows just dies, and suffers in imprisonment..and Lies

Dont get me wrong i have no hate for you

That would take too much from my integral structure

Call it an understanding between you and me

I see you and you see game, i read you and you read pain..

A Perfect mirror to your Violent Obsession.

not just to pen when I felt the whim

Id have to  set the tone of everyday

not just to defend my Territory?

Everyday?

Ok..

That’s what I’ll say..

Can i be serious, for just a few

pass the morning, Rant is due..

Oh it’s just an emotional condition

lack of carnal ambition

or in actuality, frustration from lack of opportunity.

Not the kind I really want you see..

Ever had that?

Like a steak pie, when you really want candy

like feeling the complete opposite of serendipity..

chagrin maybe..

I digress, it’s just another story..

reach for more than the dream

inevitably as it may seem

aspire because that is the only choice

do not be blind cited at the signpost

the enemy comes to break your fall

so steady your feet

this is a time of transition

Make no room for imitation

do not be jealous of what you see

it is just a figment of what is not real

a circus freak has a 3rd leg

a dream you once had

Aspire Higher..

The towns were Rapist are glorified to destroy women’s feelings, Their Names called out on tannoys, and used as leverage to humiliate, as if a game of Fear and Intimidation.

Chased out of Coffee shops and run out of towns, the Library left their only refuge, but now the have been told to be themselves Barbaric their only undertone.

A place where Black Women are imprisoned for a Laugh, called Whores and Laughed at Publicly.

Where Violent Alcoholics, sleep underneath women’s beds so they can have someone to talk to, and to talk about.

Where threatening a Black Woman with a Spanner is a Joke of Sorts, even when the consequences are fatality.

Where Bullying White Women and Men battle with their children to take turns in Destroying others Families.

Where The Police follow no Law, except What they are able to Get away with

and Violent Crime, is treated as Common Place when it is targeted at a minority.

Where black is expected and encouraged to turn against Black

And White Women walk around with as is there really is no place like home.

A place where scars and Suicide is a Game for a Laugh

And child Abuse no longer has any Defined boundary or Definition, they just don’t care anymore..

A Place where details are kept about individuals and used in an ever revolving cycles of abuse for years sometimes untill that individual Dies, from threats to kill.

A Place where Doctors and Nurses cooperate with abuse, and shop keepers join in just for the fun..

A Place where abuse is so widespread, that sometimes the only thing you can do is walk with  your head bent, and even this they will attack.

Where Racism is common Place and the Police Patrol with a Grin on their face that makes you heave with Disbelief..

Purge your soul, as you are made Prisoner if you are the Target, A person of Interest, Indian Men controlling Black Women that White Men have Abused and used before, as instructed to do by their Women, like a conveyor belt of favorites, all Black mostly Women, sometimes our Men..any information on you they will hold, your vagina they covet, what secrets that holds, thoughts of your death urges them to masturbate over and over, such a pleasure for those that can, and those that can’t just listen, as laughter bellows to hysteria, ‘Mass Hysteria’, Public Fever, A Hot topic of Mass delusion.

The Lies and truths that send you rushing to Bring up your last meal, all just a plot, all the things you do not want to see, or know they spread to your Children, like Mad Cow Decease, How EVIL and sick, corrupting their minds, Sickness and Disgrace so shocking to be true, humans have stooped here to a new low.

They force themselves on you in every way to prove themselves, and when they can not, they use others to do their dirty work, by the end you struggle to breath, you walk with eye over your shoulder at all times, you learn not to smile at  them or give them cause to believe that you will ever be, just another Girl they Abused, so readily and without care.

You have to beat the odds, as your heart keeps you alive, your thoughts give you the drive to survive the bullies, you keep your head down, as you are and want to remain here and present and healthy and strong, and live and love and learn and sleep and wake and see, and feel, and dream and grow, and develop and flourish, just one of the 5% ers..

The Fist was his Tool

His Heart was a stone

He Dresses like a Clown

And Drank it all down.

He knocked on the doors, to slam his a plenty

He Threatened Children

He Threatened Women

He cowered underground

He slept in the Closet

With no Self Concept

He buried his feelings

And Drinks it all down

He Stinks to high heaven

and Wet His Own Bed

The sofa a sleeping

to cover the smell,

he hides underneath

a burial ground,

no one home inside this  empty hound.

The Death treats were plenty

The sound of insane

his shame was a many,

so he Drank it all down.

The door was his vessel

one of contempt

to hide his affliction, aggression he vent

women his subject as his mother before

to beat into submission

he delivers the blows.

With a smile on his face and his fist raised high

he checks for bruises as he walks on by

His confidence undermined, as he  draws fear, from the masculine sex

he will not appear

Used up, he accept his perilous plight

A filthy coward, and a fright

to see

just how low to sink, humanity

so he drinks to cover

and shifts the blame

His Mother His Sister, His Neighbor

His friends, His all

a Drunken Flame.

to all the women who have died from the rage

of The Violent Alcoholics.

It’s smooth as silk

It’s hard as a Stone

Its solid as an Oak

ITs eyes wide open, even in the storm..

Its knowing all, but being Insecure

Its Knowing nothing, is ever as it appears.

And when the night comes around and your heart begins to slow

Its listening as the rain falls and the thoughts quieten,

and you begin to realise

there is no one else that I could be, A woman for Me